Welcome back to The Real Rachel BS, the newsletter about peculiar things in life, created and produced by me, Rachel BS (the real one) with the help of Substack and of course, my much better half, Mat. If you’re a lover of random things, stick around. If you’ve only just met me, subscribe to this newsletter to keep it coming!
There was a time, long long ago, when our family was small enough that I could remember every child’s birthday, every sport they played, and every little quirk. As the kids grew up and also had kids, there were so many of them, it was a challenge just to remember how old they were, let alone when they were born. We knew we had a big family but didn’t realize how big until we used time on a recent road trip to put all the kids in chronological order and count them up, one by one.
What I’ve been lucky enough to do is be a spectator in the lives of 40 young people who know me as Aunt Rae, or some such variation of that term. Each one of them is unique, like snowflakes or potato salad recipes. Some are just like their parents. Some are exact opposites.
Due to my proximity, I hover from afar, checking in every once in a while as that pesky aunt who cusses way too much and visits way too little. They know I admire the kind of people they are and want to be. They know they can be honest with me about anything. And, they recognize that I am A LOT, as confirmed by the dozens of times they’ve told me so, when I’ve asked too many questions at all the wrong times.
If Aidy Bryant’s cast of characters in this Saturday Night Live skit about the 19th Annual Nephew Pageant were based on a real life Aunt, I’m pretty sure it would be me. I am that Aunt.
“Why celebrate nephews? Well they’re fun little scamps and they’re not yours.”
Being available to kids who are not my own has been ingrained in me since I myself was a kid. I had aunts and uncles who looked out for me in the way I do for mine. Sleepovers at Uncle Bob’s. New school shoes, compliments of Aunt Dove. Movie nights with Uncle Ed. They were the models for me. To be clear, I also had aunts and uncles who were completely checked out of my life. Some I would see at a holiday dinner and then not again for another 365 days. In most things, there is a cause and effect. When you invest, the return can be incredible.
One of the first kids to make me an aunt was sitting in his car seat as I drove. I don't remember how we got on the subject of money. It’s a strange topic of conversation to have with a toddler sitting in the back seat, I know. Perhaps I gave him cash to buy something at the store we were headed to, I’m not sure. In all seriousness, he asked me something that I still remember, well over two decades later.
“Why is Abraham Lincoln on the five dollar bill when he was the 16th president?”
I honestly did not know the answer, but I offered my best speculation, that Lincoln was the second most prominent president we had in our history so he got to be on the second paper bill. Washington got to be on the dollar bill because he was the first president. If he accepted my response as fact, I’m not sure. He either believed me or cracked open the Encyclopedia Britannica when he got home.
Just a few years ago, Mat and I were back in the Midwest visiting the family. There are about a dozen kids in the youngest iteration of our sibling’s children. To an outside ear, Aunt Rae’s conversations with them can sound like interviews, or maybe… interrogations. As we were wrapping up our chat, I wanted to be sure they didn’t forget to fill me in on all of the things happening in their lives.
“Is there anything you think I should know that you haven’t told me yet?”
I could see her wheels spinning as she looked for the answer in the sky. Finally, it appeared.
“I think you should know I have gym on Tuesdays.”
They’ve traveled throughout the Midwest with me as helpers at my community presentations. They’ve passed out buttons and candy in parades we’ve walked in. They’ve joined me on many a’picket line. They’ve made the news with me. They’ve walked alongside me at the Women’s Marches.
They ask some really wild questions and I love their curiosity. It's interesting to hear what our young people come up with as a vision for their futures. One of them might very well be trying to out-college me. I naively thought that day would never come but I’m super proud that it has arrived. When left to their own devices, unimpeded by anyone else’s judgements, they can have dreams and goals and plans that are much larger than life. Whitney Houston was right y’all, “teach them well and let them lead the way”.
Four blocks from our old apartment, in a park beloved by millions, a tree grows in their honor. Mat and I planted that tree ourselves and dedicated it to all of them, with the help of TreePeople. Much like monuments or important historical locations, that tree serves to commemorate how those 40 young people made their old Aunt Rae and Uncle Mat proud. So if there ever comes a time when they need a monument to pay tribute to the good times we’ve shared, a trip to Los Angeles is in order.
While we await the arrival of number 41, with 42 coming in hot right behind him, I thank the stars above that I get to be the cool aunt to a bunch of really cool kids.
Ahh…. beautiful trip from the past… I am glad we crossed paths
I admire you in this, too. It's an area I've fallen down on. I was pretty involved early on with my niece and 4 nephews, but have not been able to keep up with the greats:15 so far, with another on the way. It's a good reminder to call my niece right now. She and her mom are leaving for to walk the Camino tomorrow. They thought it was cool that I did it....